Fools for Love?

Women stereotypically turn to putty in the hold of a great love story. I remember when I was a kid and my mom staked out the local video rental store for a week to get her hands on a copy of Dirty Dancing. After hearing all of the women her age rave about Dirty Dancing after they had seen it in the theaters, my mom was expecting a love story the likes of An Affair to Remember or Splendor in the Grass. She was of course disappointed when she discovered what a sappy, Swayze-chest loving film it actually turned out to be. But many women bought into it.

Years later, when I was in high school, Titanic came out. And while I enjoyed the movie, I was nowhere near to reaching the status of devotion that the movie garnered in a group of three girls that I knew. I overheard in chemistry one Friday afternoon their plan to go see Titanic again. And when I say again, I mean the for FOURTH time in the theater.

So maybe Paul Rudnick, a playwright speaking to CNN, felt he had some basis for saying of Brokeback Mountain:

"[Men are] not quite sure what to make of it," says Rudnick, who is gay. "They know their wives are going to fall in love with the movie, and with the men in it."

I had already seen Brokeback by the time that I read the CNN article, and I admit it: I was flabbergasted. And I don't get flabbergasted easily. Why would women fall in love with the men in Brokeback? The characters had sex with no tenderness or real hint of intimacy. (As one reviewer, John Venable wrote, "the way the initial encounter is shown will only reinforce the negative view that bigots have about gay culture.") The Oscar-nominated Ledger's performance consisted largely of grunting. The men both married women and commenced an affair that lasted decades (and one of the characters had several affairs, including some dangerous back-alley rendezvous with strangers). The only sex scene between Ennis (Ledger's character) and his wife Alma (played by Michelle Williams) was as devoid of tenderness as that between him and Jack, and it echoed his desire for homosexual sex over traditional heterosexual intercourse.

No woman would want to be in the position of Alma or Lureen (the other main character's wife), who were not what their husbands desired. Their husbands spent their entire marriages desiring other people and acting on those desires. Their marriages were filled with deceit and infidelity, and marred by a lack of passion.

Women may like Brokeback Mountain because they cheer its message (respect for gay relationships and the promotion of gay rights), but to assume that women are going to buy into a love story simply because it is framed as a love story is to underestimate women, and, perhaps more shamefully, to underestimate love.

Post Script: This post was inspired by a discussion on Sarah's blog. Go read it; it's very timely!